


Gone

by StarlightSearching18



Category: Amar a Muerte (TV), Juliantina - Fandom
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2020-06-26 12:52:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 13,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19768597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarlightSearching18/pseuds/StarlightSearching18
Summary: ‘The thing about pain is that it doesn’t let go. It grips on and squeezes tighter and tighter until you can’t breathe. It hurts so bad that you can’t focus on anything else.  The worst type of pain is grief and that racks your soul. A knife, dipped in poison and lodged into your heart but you can’t pull it out because your heart’ll come with it. It’s excruciating. Every inch of skin is set alight and Valentina lights up as though she was the one that was dowsed in gasoline and burned alive. As though it was her who was shot’What if Alacran actually ended up killing Juliana? What if she then woke up? Not in someone else’s body though. What if she’s stuck in between? For a purpose because nothing, not even death, will tear them apart.





	1. Chapter 1

The thing about pain is that it doesn’t let go. It grips on and squeezes tighter and tighter until you can’t breathe. It hurts so bad that you can’t focus on anything else. The worst type of pain is grief and that racks your soul. A knife, dipped in poison and lodged into your heart but you can’t pull it out because your heart’ll come with it. It’s excruciating. Every inch of skin is set alight and Valentina lights up as though she was the one that was dowsed in gasoline and burned alive. As though it was her who was shot.

Losing Juliana is the worst thing to ever happen to Valentina. This grief is worse. Worse than it was when she lost her dad because he came back to her. Juliana’s not coming back. All Valentina wants is to feel numb. To not have to see her in everything she owns. To not see her eyes when she closes her own. To not hear her laugh in the quiet moments when she barely manages to stop crying. To not feel the ghost of her hands on her. 

“She was right there. I had her. She was safe and then she was gone,” she tells anyone who’ll listen. As if her screams of terror in the middle of the night aren’t enough to tell people how she feels. Guilt mixes with Valentina’s blood. “Why her? Why not me? I’d do anything for it to have been me,” she says. 

“No. Don’t say that. She wouldn’t want that,” they’d say. Guille, Mateo, Lucia, Leon. But how do they know? They don’t know how much it hurts. Valentina’s dad or maybe Lucia might be the only ones who understands but even then the hurting doesn’t give her long enough to ask. They can’t feel the white hot, searing pain coursing through her veins. She supposes this is how Juliana would be feeling if it was the other way round and she doesn’t want that for her either. Stalemate. 

Her screams ricochet around the house again. “Juliana! No! Juliana, please!” she yells in her sleep. Sweat accumulates on her forehead and her hands grip the sofa cushion so tight that her knuckles turn white. “Vale! Valentina, you’re dreaming. Wake up!” Lucia shakes her sleeping stepdaughter. Blue eyes shoot open. 

“Juliana!” Valentina lets out upon waking. Her eyes scan the room before they land on Lucia. She almost asks where Juliana is before it dawns on her. Her eyes well up and it doesn’t take long before they’re pouring down her face, which she buries into a jacket Juliana had left at the Carvajal mansion one day. Valentina hadn’t let go of the jacket since she found it in her closet shortly after Juliana’s death. 

“You passed out on the sofa again, darling. Let’s get you to bed, hm?,” Lucia says, crouching down rubbing Valentina’s arm soothingly. Valentina shakes her head and squeezes her eyes shut tightly as pain grips her again. “I want her back. She needs to be back here with me,” she whispers. 

“Of course. I know that. You’re the bravest and strongest person I know. It’ll get better. It won’t hurt like this forever, I promise,” Lucia tells her, running her fingers through Valentina’s hair. 

“I’m not gonna forget her,” 

“No one’s asking you to, sweetheart. I’m just saying that the pain will ease up eventually. Just because her death won’t hurt as much anymore doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten her,”

Valentina doesn’t know what to say to that. It’s almost like she doesn’t want the pain to stop. If the pain stops, Juliana will just become a memory of hers. She has to keep her alive. The only way she can now. “I’m gonna stay here. On the sofa,” she says, avoiding responding to it altogether. 

Lucia nods and stands to leave.  
“Te quiero,” Valentina manages to get out in amongst the sobbing that’s started up again.

“Yo tambien te quiero, Vale. Siempre, okay?” Lucia kisses Valentina’s temple and walks out of the room. The screaming starts up again once she reaches the stairs. Lucia squeezes her eyes shut tight, wishing she could take some of the pain away for her stepdaughter. “Please. Let someone help her somehow. Maybe not me but someone,” she whispers to no one in particular, hoping some sort of divine figure will hear her.  
________________________________________

Juliana is startled awake. She sits until her breathing slows down and then attempts to get to her feet, wincing at the sharp pain in her back and decides to stay sat down. Where am I?” She thinks, scanning her surroundings. She immediately looks for Valentina but comes up empty handed. “What is going on?” She doesn’t recognize where she is. Has she even ever been to this place before? 

Then it hits her. It’s a hospital. No, a morgue. Not dissimilar to the one her dad was in. What’s happened she’s not sure yet but the confusion only lasts a few minutes. Once she gets up on her feet and is steady, she sees it. Her body. “What the hell?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure how ghosts/spirits work so this is me winging it

Juliana looks down towards her feet to find that they weren’t actually on the floor. They’re levitating, inches of the floor. “What is going on?” She turns to look at her body again. “If that’s me, then how can I be over here at the same time?”  
She looks at her hands, noticing their translucent appearance for the first time.  
“What is going on?” 

Juliana moves her hand around and the fact that she can the floor through it completely freaks her out. “Am I high?” she thinks, wracking her memory for answers. “Why can I remember there being blood? Alacran! Alacran shot me. I remember that. I remember the police ambush and I remember the paramedics. They put me on a stretcher. And then they were taking me to the hospital and then nothing,” she explains to herself, walking through what she can remember last. 

She casts a glance over at the window, sees her reflection and then looks back at her body. “If that’s me there but I’m also over here looking like an LSD trip gone wrong, that means.....Holy sh-. I’m dead. I’m dead, aren’t I? That means- no. No. Val. Valentina. No. She was there. I saw her. No. No. No. I have to see her. I have to know if she’s okay,” she shouts out, knowing that there’s very little chance anyone can hear her. 

She tries to walk and can’t so that freaks her out even more. Her feet aren’t touching the floor but when she got up, it felt like they were. “How am I supposed to move?” She thinks back to everything she knows about death and spirits which isn’t very much but it’s enough. “Ghosts move by flying, no? So if I truly am a ghost, I should be able to fly,” 

Juliana closes her eyes and attempts to start moving up towards the ceiling. “Okay. This is harder than it looks. Let’s try it again,” The second time, she manages it and soon she’s floating round the room. “This is weird but that’s one problem solved. Okay. What else? What else?” She sorts through her knowledge again. “Camilo. Camilo might be able to help. I should go see him before I see Valentina. I’ve just gotta get the hang of this flying thing first,” She spends the next few hours crashing into things because apparently, she can touch things and knock them over. That would’ve been useful information. _______________________________________

Moments. Snapshots of moments frozen in time. Flashes of brown eyes and sunkissed skin. Infectious smiles and pinky promises. Lingering hugs and soft lips. Valentina’s mind gives her no breathing room to focus on anything else. “Not now,” she whispers, staring at the laptop screen in front of her and trying to force her brain to focus on her essay for class. “Please. Not now,” 

She wanted to at least try to get some work done. At the very least, it’d distract her. Nothing had been typed, however, in about an hour, the little bouncy cursor mocking her. She shifts her legs, swapping them over so that they are folded the other way, her left leg nearly falling asleep due to the way she’s sitting.

A faint laugh drifts through her mind next, replaying in her ears. “No, No, No. Not now. Please,” she pleads. “No!” She yells and Guille comes running into the room just in time to see Valentina tossing her laptop across the sofa and slamming her hands down her knees. “Hey. Hey,” he whispers walking towards her slowly. “It’s alright,” 

“It’s not! It’s not alright! It’ll never be alright! She’s gone, Guille! Gone! She left me!” 

“Okay, come on. Stand up,” he says, pulling the sobbing girl to her feet. 

Valentina’s yelling continues. “It’s not alright! I could’ve rescued her! She was right there!” Valentina lands angry strikes against his chest as Guille pulls her towards him. Of course, she’s not trying to hurt him but she doesn’t have enough energy to do any harm if she was. “She was right there!” 

“I know. I know. But listen, Montilla said you wouldn’t have been able to do anything anyway. Alacran’s men were armed to the teeth,” Guille informs Valentina, pulling her close so her head’s on his chest and wrapping his arms around her tightly. 

“Screw Montilla. He never did anything for anyone. He shouldn’t even be a cop. I told him exactly where she was and that she was in danger! Did he do anything? No, he didn’t! He let her die!” Valentina vents. Guille doesn’t say anything. He just lets her get everything off of her shoulders, rubbing her back comfortingly until she stops talking. The intensity of her sobs make her body shake violently against his. 

Once her anger dies down a bit, her voice comes out at only just louder than a whisper. “I could’ve saved her. I could’ve done something different. Found Beltran quicker or got more help from someone else. I’ve could’ve stopped him,” 

“You’d only be putting yourself in danger. They would’ve killed you as well. No hesitations,” 

Valentina pushes herself off of Guille and rips herself out of his arms. Her voice gets louder until it’s erupting from her and her molten emotions hit Guille again and again like her strikes from a little earlier on. “I don’t care, Guillermo! Don’t you understand? I don’t care about my safety! I don’t care about armed men! I care about the fact that Juliana was taken from me! Juliana, Guille! Juliana? You remember her, don’t you?” 

“Of course I-,” 

“It’s so hard for me to believe she’s gone. I know she was pronounced dead. I know that but I’m still waiting. I’m waiting for her to walk through that door. To tell me some crazy story about how she was taken to some other town or city or even country. Or about how she went on some adventure. I’m still waiting for the next time her arms will be around me again and for her to kiss me. Every single day. The last time I saw her, she came out of that house on the stretcher. She looked at me, Guille. As if she wasn’t in pain at all. There was blood everywhere and she looked at me the same way she had done every time since we met. Then, she died en route to the hospital,” Guille is silent by the time Valentina finishes speaking. Shock is written all over his face. He scans Valentina’s face, trying to process everything. 

“No one seems to care about her in this damn house or the fact that she was murdered! She’s not coming back and they didn’t even try to save her! She was murdered and she’s gone! Gone!” She sinks to the floor, her sobs shaking her body again. “She’s gone,” she says softly. “She’s gone and it hurts so bad,” Guille crouches and slips his arms around her waist and under her leg. “It hurts, Guille,” 

“I know, Vale. I know,” he tells her, lifting her off of the floor. Valentina tells him it hurts over and over with her face planted against his neck and each time, it causes more tears to roll down Guille’s face, the extent of Valentina’s pain only just now hitting him. It’d only been a few weeks and there hadn’t been a funeral yet, Lupe scraping the cash together on her own and refusing the Carvajals’ help. He can almost feel her pain seeping from her body into his. 

Guille carries Valentina all the way up to her room and places her carefully on her bed. She grabs his arm when he goes to leave and begs him to stay with her. He does, lying down on the bed next to her. She rests her head on his chest and they lie there for a while before Guille speaks up again. “Why don’t we go see Camilo? Tomorrow? If there’s anyone that can help you sort through your feelings, it’s him,”  
Valentina nods sleepily and Guille kisses her forehead as she closes her eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

Once Juliana gets the hang of flying and places everything that she knocked over back in their places, she floats in one place for a little while, taking everything in. “Okay. How do I get out of here?” Her question gets an answer when the door swings open. She quickly moves to the wall above the door, out of sight. Someone in hospital scrubs walks in and towards her body. “You better take care of that. I’m gonna need it,” she thinks to herself, stumbling through the door as quick as she can. 

Juliana floats around the morgue above head height level, not wanting to bump into anyone. She stops when she spots her mother sat in the waiting room. “Jesus. She looks so tired. She’s probably not been getting much sleep,” Juliana thinks, her face contorting with emotion at the sight. She can’t cry but she wants to.  
“I’m sorry,” she whispers as if her mother would be able to hear her. Juliana then turns away, not wanting to look anymore, and floats down the corridor and out the door when another visitor comes through it. 

“Right. To Camilo’s,”  
_______________________________________

Valentina wakes up abruptly, another dream being invaded by Juliana. Gunshots ring in her ears and she squeezes her eyes tightly. As soon as they stop, she pulls the cover off her legs. “Where’s Guille?” She asks, her brother having slipped out once he was sure Valentina was fast asleep. 

“Ugh,” she groans, rubbing her eyes and forcing herself to get up. Energy is something Valentina rarely has these days so does everything she has to do to get ready with tiredness hanging over her, including showering, and just decides to wear sweatpants again and pulls on a blue tank top. There’s a knock at the door and Eva pokes her head in. “Buenos Dias, Valen- What are you wearing?” The older sister says, scanning Valentina’s outfit choice. 

“Clothes, Eva. They’re just clothes,” 

“You have to keep up your appearance if you’re going out like Guille tells me. The press will have a field day if you’re dressed like that,” 

“I don’t care. Leave me alone,” Valentina tells her, done with the conversation already. 

“You’re not still hung up on that Juliana, are you?” Eva asks. Valentina’s head snaps up at that and she stares her sister dead in the eyes. “Shut up,” she threatens through gritted teeth, growling lowly. 

“Come on, Vale. This is a good thing for us. You can get back on track now,” 

That’s enough for Valentina to snap. “Shut up, Eva! You don’t get to talk badly about her! Not after what you did! She was everything to me and you’re talking about her like she doesn’t matter! Like she was just some stranger! Enough. Keep Juliana’s name out of your mouth and leave me alone,” she almost screams angrily, walking towards Eva and forcing her out the door. 

“Valen-“ 

Jabbing her finger towards her older sister, Valentina’s seething with anger and hurt. “Leave. Me. Alone. I’m serious,” Valentina slams the door in Eva’s face and leans against it, her hands shooting up onto her head. She grips her hair, with tears threatening to fall. She composes herself best she can and storms out of the bedroom, rushing downstairs before anyone can say anything to her. She finds her brother in law in the kitchen and throws herself into his arms. “Mateo!” Valentina cries, burying her face in his shoulder. 

“Shhh,” Mateo soothes, recovering immediately from the surprise and holding onto Valentina, who’s now trembling with equal parts anger and pain, tightly. “I’ve got you,” 

“What have you got planned today?” Valentina asks shakily, her voice muffled. She needs someone else with her at Camilo’s.

“I think I have a couple of meetings at the paper to get through but I can cancel if you need me,” 

“No. No, that’s okay,” Valentina recovers or more like she forces herself to recover when she hears about the plans. She pulls back from Mateo’s embrace to look him in the eyes. Valentina’s usual bright blue eyes are dull and bloodshot but she manages a smile. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll, er, manage,” 

“We’re all worried about you but as long as you’re sure,” Mateo asks, brushing hair off of Valentina’s face. 

“Of course. Go crush it at the paper. I know you will,” 

Mateo is wary to leave her but Valentina assures him that she’ll be fine with Guille.  
Valentina rushes off to find her brother, who’s sat at the table reading the paper, coffee in hand. “What can I get you for breakfast, mi niña?” Silvina asks as Valentina enters the room. 

“Oh. I’m not hungry. Just a juice will be fine,” 

“Toast?” 

“I’m fine, Chivis. Honestly,” 

“Vale. You have to eat something,” Guille pipes up from the table. “You’ll get sick otherwise,” 

“Fine,” Valentina grumbles, accepting the toast offer and taking a seat beside him at table. She places her forehead on the table and lets out a low groan. 

“She was that bad, huh?” Guille says, immediately recognizing the anguish in Valentina’s behaviour as being the result of Eva. Valentina lifts her head up to nod before putting it back on the table. She doesn’t want to go into details as she can feel the pain rising in her chest already and Guille thankfully doesn’t ask for any details. 

“She never learns,” he says, shaking his head. “Don’t listen to her. Whatever crap that came out of her mouth isn’t true. You know that,” The siblings scarf down their breakfast and venture out in Guille’s car to Camilo’s office.  
______________________________________

Juliana crashes into Camilo’s office through an open window. She looks around to make sure she hadn’t broken anything. Camilo’s sat in his chair reading. “How the hell am I gonna do this without scaring him?” She thinks, clinging to the wall. Someone knocks on the door and Juliana nearly falls. Camilo gets up and answers the door. “Guillermo! How are you?” 

“Guille? Surely not,” she whispers quietly. 

“Hey Camilo. We need your help,” 

“We?” She wonders and moves so that she has a view of the door and her eyes land on Valentina. “Val,” Juliana whispers softly, adoration laced through her voice. “Damn,” Juliana observes the girl huddled in the doorway. Her arms are around her as if she’s cold and she looks as though she’s trying to make herself look as small as possible. No make up - not that she needs it - and casual attire and she still manages to be a knockout in the looks department. She feels a familiar pull in her chest despite her heart being all the way back in the morgue. A small smile is on Valentina’s face as she hugs her uncle and Juliana nearly melts on the spot. Valentina definitely has her wrapped around her finger. “God. I’m so in love with her,” 

Pulled back to reality, Juliana’s eyes go wide. “Valentina. What’s she doing here?”


	4. Chapter 4

“What’s the issue? Camilo asks, leading the Carvajal siblings into the middle of his office. Valentina shuffles her feet anxiously and Guille puts his hand on her back. “You can do it,” he whispers quietly so she’s the only that hears it as they sit on the sofa. Tears immediately well up in her eyes at the thought of Juliana and a burning sensation starts up in the back of her throat. 

“Um....” Valentina starts, cutting herself off to clear her throat. “Do you remember the girl who was with me when I was here the last time?” 

“Of course. Juli..something,” 

“Juliana,” Valentina corrects him, jumping in immediately. She lets out a long, slow, shaky breath before continuing. “Well she was......killed.....a few weeks ago and....,” She stops to wipe her cheeks, a movement that’s made redundant seconds later when more and more tears drip down. “And we were hoping there was something that you could do to help her cope a little better with the grieving process,” Guille cuts in, sensing her inability to keep talking. Camilo offers his condolences, Valentina not aware that he knows about the nature of her relationship with Juliana, and opens his laptop. 

Valentina’s hands begin shaking and in a brief grief-stricken moment, she looks towards the far wall. She furrows her eyebrows in confusion when she thinks she sees Juliana behind Camilo but blinks a couple of times and whatever it was is gone. “My mind playing tricks on me again,” Valentina thinks before going back to paying attention to what Camilo’s saying.  
________________________________________

Juliana managed to dodge out of the way when Valentina looked straight at her and decides to dive behind the sofa that Valentina and Guille are sat on to avoid detection and ,as best she can, lie flat on the floor for a few minutes. Camilo continues to speak so she guesses that the coast is clear. She puts a hand on her chest and the other on her forehead. “That was close,” Juliana thinks and she takes the time that the other three are talking as a chance to calm down. 

“You’ve read my first book, right?”

“Yeah. Of course. Cover to cover a bunch of times. Do you think she could have reincarnated? I mean it’s been a few weeks,” 

“It’s possible,” 

Valentina gasps and covers her face with her hands. “There’s a chance she’ll come back to me,” she says softly. Her breathing quickens and she looks at Guille, throwing her arms around him. “Juliana,” she whispers. 

“I assume this girl means more to you than I anticipated,” Camilo says and to which Valentina nods, pulling out of Guille’s embrace. “She meant the world,” 

“And her death? How does that make you feel?” 

“Whoa. I don’t think you should ask that,” Guille interjects, shooting Camilo a warning. He’s had to deal with Valentina’s explosive moods for the past few weeks and doesn’t want Camilo to subject himself to them. 

“It’s alright, Guille,”Valentina assures him. “Um...it’s painful. To say the least,” she informs Camilo, Valentina’s words being the understatement of the century. Just waking up and not being able to be around Juliana is agonizing, her heart pulling her in search for it’s missing piece, only to end up without it in gut-wrenching alarm and every cell sets alight over and over again. 

“She...erm...it felt like she brought colour back into my life...y’know after Dad and everything and now she’s gone,” 

Juliana sits up slowly in order to not make any noise. She can feel what must be an imitation of her throat burning and her heart hurting at Valentina’s words considering her current predicament. She jumps slightly as she sees a pale woman with short brown hair come into view, crouched in front of her with her finger to her lips.

Juliana’s eyes widen but she doesn’t make any noise. The short haired woman slinks towards Juliana and leans in towards her ear. “Relax,” she whispers so quietly that Juliana barely picks up on it. “I’m here to help,” Juliana nods and stares at the strange woman in disbelief. 

“La Muerte,” the woman introduces herself as.

“Death? What does you mean Death? As in what? The Grim Reaper type thing? That’s gotta be some type of joke, right?” Juliana hurriedly spits out her questions, appearing to be breathing heavily due to the phantom pain in her chest where her heart would be. 

“No jokes here,” 

“Does that mean you’re responsible for this?” Juliana huffs, gesturing to herself in rushed annoyance.

“A miscalculation. Sorry about that,” 

“Yeah well double check next time, eh? And Juliana,” she says, offering La Muerte her hand. 

“Oh. I know exactly who you are,” the other woman tells her, batting her hand away lightly. 

“Alright then......What are you doing here?” 

“I told you. I can help with your.....situation,” La Muerte repeats, leaning out to peak around the sofa.


	5. Chapter 5

Still sitting behind the sofa in Camilo’s office, Juliana takes a minute to take everything in. She and La Muerte had managed to converse in low whispers the whole time thus far without any signs of detection from the three non-supernatural beings in the room. “Is there any way for me to get back into my own body? Like can’t I just....y’know...,” she questions, pushing her hands together in a jolt like motion. “Freaky Friday this shit?” 

Surely, Death can push her back into her body or something. Or at least tell her how to do it herself. Juliana had even hoped La Muerte would give her a riddle that she could solve so there was something she could aim for. Instead though, they are no further on than before.

“I’ve never had anyone be in this situation before. With yours and Valentina’s dads, they were both dead in the same time frame and would develop the same goal so it was easy to just swap them over,” La Muerte explains. 

“What was the purpose of that, exactly?” Juliana asks, still not quite believing all of this isn’t the result of some sort of concussion or drug related issue, her brow furrowing. 

“To get you and Valentina together. You two are soulmates. Written in the stars and fate. And to also give your dads a second chance,” 

“And you expect me to just believe this lovey-dovey nonsense?” She protests despite Valentina’s presence behind her never venturing from her mind. A strange pull deep inside the current state of what would be her heart keeps her from succumbing to the distraction that La Muerte is providing. 

A pull that began when she saw her across the street and that grew stronger constantly. It scared her. It scared her so much that she pushed Valentina away again and again. But it doesn’t scare her now. In fact, it’s probably the only thing keeping her from completely losing it.

She wants more than anything to wrap her arms around the blue eyed dream and tell her that she’s okay. She wants to feel Valentina’s arms around her again and her lips against her own. She wants to hear her laugh again and be the cause of it. Despite Eva’s and her own mother’s aversions to it, she wants to be with Valentina for the rest of her life.

She guesses that wasn’t the case though, suddenly feeling more anger towards Lucho and Sergio than she ever had before. She’s even angry at herself for believing her mother’s lies. Two women being together is normal. There’s no way her feelings towards Valentina are fake or gross. Not a chance. Not that she would say any of that to anyone but her love. 

“Well, no. But I can prove it to you. And get you back into your body,”

“Okay. Go for it,” she whispers, a wave of relief washing over her. Finally. It hadn’t been that long but it already feels like it’s been a lifetime since she was with Valentina last. Valentina is honestly a mirage at this point. She’s right there yet Juliana can’t reach out and touch her. 

“Well I can’t do it here,” 

Juliana sighs, the palm of her hand meeting with her forehead in frustration. “Well, where then?” 

“I have an acquaintance that should be able to do the trick,”   
______________________________________

While Juliana continues to go through her existential crisis, silently still waits to wake up from all this ridiculousness and hangs out with The Angel of Death, Valentina sorts through resources that Camilo has given her in order to try to lessen the pain. “How about a medium?” Guille offers, pointing to the page on the laptop screen. 

“A medium? Aren’t they just full of crap and say things just so you’ll give them more money?” 

“Some. But some are legitimate,” Guille says. 

“What do you know about mediums, Guillermo?” Valentina asks him quizzically. 

“That one I’ve given you information of is a friend of mine and I can assure you she knows what she’s talking about,” Camilo assures Valentina. 

This can’t be real, can it? Surely, you can’t talk to people again once they’ve died. That’d be ridiculous. Valentina supposes that it can’t get more ridiculous than her and Juliana’s dads swapping souls about but talking to Juliana in the afterlife seems like a step too far. 

“Vale. I think we should give this Barbara a shot,” 

“What if it’s a waste of time?”

“What if it’s not? Even if it’s a tiny chance to get in contact with Juliana again, don’t you wanna take it? And look, this Barbara even does yoga. You could try that out,”   
Valentina laughs and shoves Guille’s arm at the proposal for her to do yoga but she considers the medium part for a few minutes and eventually decides it’s something she wants to do. She has to contact Juliana again even if it is through someone else. 

“I’ll write down her details for you and you can do therapy with me on top of that if you would like,” Camilo suggests. “Although be forewarned, Barbara is a little.......let’s say, eccentric,” 

“What do you mean?” Valentina asks, intrigued by Camilo’s description. 

“You’ll see,” he tells her. 

Maybe this is a bad idea after all but it’ll be worth it if she can actually do what she says she can. Guille squeezes Valentina’s shoulder. “I’m sure it’ll be fine,” he reassures his younger sister.


	6. Chapter 6

The Carvajal black SUV driven by Alirio pulls up outside of a house. The GPS beeps. “Your destination is on the right,” comes the automated voice. Valentina looks across her brother to gaze out of the window. “Are you sure this is the right place, Alirio?”.

“Of course, Señorita Valentina. The address is correct,” 

Valentina frowns at the front door, obviously not recognising their location. Alirio climbs out of the driver’s side and opens the door for Valentina and Guille. Two men in suits get out of the trailing car. Alirio offers his hand to Valentina and helps her out of the car. Guille follows her out. The men in suits, identified as the Carvajals’ security guards, escort Valentina and Guille to the door. 

Valentina wraps her arms around herself and rubs her arms, an attempt to rub some warmth into her cold body. A warmth that left her the same time Juliana did. Guille takes off his jacket and wraps it around his sister’s shoulders and knocks on the door softly. The security guards position themselves on either side of the door. A short woman with black hair pulls the door open a crack, just so that her head is visible. A bejewelled hairpiece sits firmly on top of her head. “Yes?” 

Guille steps forward. “Our uncle, Camilo Guerra, said you could help us,” 

With a harsh but hesitant tone, Barbara spits “What do you want?” Valentina steps forward. Barbara’s eyes widen as her eyes dart to Valentina. She reaches through the door opening and grabs Valentina’s wrist tightly. She pushes the door open and pulls her through it. Guille quickly follows keeping his eyes on the witch. 

“I’ve been waiting for you. The spirits have been whispering about you,” she informs the pair. Valentina makes eye contact with Guille and mouths ‘what?’. Guille shrugs best he can as he rushes after them. Barbara pulls Valentina through the building and has her sit on a wooden chair in front of hers, a large circular shaped chair. 

“What brings you here?” The witch asks, leaning forward after she sits down, resting her elbow on her knee and propping her head up with her hand. 

“Well my gir-...... I mean my friend was shot and killed a few days back and we were told by Camilo that there’s a way for me to get in contact with her through you,” Valentina stumbling her way through the explanation and pausing every so often when pain bubbles on her throat and tears prick her eyes. Barbara nods along, taking in what Valentina tells her, and gasps towards the end.  
_______________________________________

Meanwhile, high up in the sky, Juliana hangs onto La Muerte’s hand as best she can with as much grip as she can muster as they zoom across the city. “Holy sh- Will you slow down?” Juliana calls out, trying to get her voice louder than the wind whipping by them. 

“We need to get there quickly,” the divine figure tells her. 

“Where are we going?” 

The pair move fast and effectively, weaving around buildings. They hover for a second or two over a set of houses, La Muerte’s eyes scanning the streets below for any signs of anyone down there. They then proceed to land with a thud in front one of the houses. “Okay. Now what?” Juliana says, shaking with nerves and a little bit of fear. La Muerte takes her hand, a bright light surrounds them and then suddenly, they are inside the house. 

“Okay. You have got to warn me before you do things like that,” Juliana says between breaths, breathing heavier due to the surprise of the movement. La Muerte just shrugs and moves through the house, Juliana hot on her heels. They walk towards where Valentina, Barbara and Guille are sat and just before Juliana walks in the room, La Muerte - now hidden behind a wall - sticks her arm out to hold her back. 

Juliana looks at her in confusion but La Muerte presses a finger to her lips and Juliana nods and keeps quiet. 

“So, you want me to try to find your friend in the afterlife?”

“If you can, yes please,” 

Juliana’s eyes widen. She turns to La Muerte and mouths “That’s Valentina,”. La Muerte nods and motions for her to stay put. Juliana agrees and clings to the wall, poking her head round the corner so she can see what’s happening. La Muerte walks towards the trio but is stopped when Juliana grabs her wrist. She whips round to look at the girl and tilts her head. Juliana whispers as quietly as she can, “What are you doing? They’ll see you,” 

La Muerte shakes her head and moves her hand in front of her face. “They can’t see me. They can only see you,” she whispers in reply. 

“And you couldn’t have told me that before?” Juliana asks, her tone dripping in half annoyance and half annoyance’s fake counterpart. La Muerte just raises her shoulders in an apologetic shrug and turns round to continue moving towards the other three forms in the room. 

Barbara lights a candle and places a glass ball on the table in front of her. Valentina and Guille glance at each other. La Muerte lingers behind Valentina and just waits. Barbara is sat with her eyes closed and the room is now silent. Valentina shares nervous glances with Guille as the silence grows. 

“Her name is Juliana Valdès, correct?” 

“Yes, ma’am,” 

Barbara breathes in and then nothing happens. Juliana feels as though someone is searching for her from a distance but nothing else happens. Barbara opens her eyes and shakes her head. “I’m finding it hard to enter. It seems Juliana is a very special case,” 

“Special how? I don’t understand,” Valentina says, clearly confused. La Muerte bends and moves to circle around Valentina and leans in close to her, obviously without any reaction from her. La Muerte inspects Valentina’s face. Juliana, still behind the wall, waves her arm up and down trying to attract La Muerte’s attention. The divine figure looks towards Juliana and smirks. “What are you doing?” Juliana mouths. 

“Calm down,” La Muerte mouths back. Barbara explains to Valentina that the spirits are very unstable sometimes as La Muerte moves towards her. She stands beside Barbara and leans down towards her ear. “Juliana is here,” she whispers in a way that only the divine sort can. Barbara’s eyes are closed again as she breathes in the new information.

Her eyes dart back to Valentina and they widen slightly. “The ancestral spirits have gathered. The say the soul of Juliana Valdès is still here,”. Valentina has a look of confusion and amazement on her face. When La Muerte is returning to stand by Juliana again, she leans back in to Valentina again before slipping behind her and slinking her way back to Juliana. 

“I don’t understand. What does that mean?” Valentina asks hurriedly. “Has she reincarnated?” 

“Not yet,” is all that is said in reply. The siblings look at each other. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Valentina asks. Back over by the wall, Juliana begins to freak out in whispered tones. “What the hell was that?”.


	7. Chapter 7

Juliana feels pain too. Except hers would classify as physical if she was still in her body. Whilst she knows her heart aches for Valentina, she’s not in Valentina’s position of thinking her love is dead. La Muerte assured her that she could get back in her body and she’s inclined to trust her. She’s still not entirely sure how she is a sort of ghost and yet can touch and feel things but it’s definitely causing her problems and making it easier simultaneously. 

Her first indication of pain comes when she’s jolted by it in Barbara’s home. The spot in her lower back where the bullet entered her body burns up. A sharp pain imitating what she assumes burning alive would have felt like in the wounded area. That was very nearly the case and might have been if Alacran had’ve gone through with that. Her form involuntarily jerks in a forward movement. She feels as though she’s gritting her teeth at the pain. 

In order to not alert Valentina, her number one priority, she clenches her fist and her eyes search for La Muerte. The divine figure, not entirely sure what to do, moves around Juliana and places her arm across Juliana’s chest, clasping her shoulder and covering her mouth with one of her pale, almost skeletal hands. She leans against the wall to hold Juliana in place. Tears line Juliana’s eyes as she looks helplessly over her shoulder in La Muerte’s direction. 

Brown eyes desperately seek help and her face twists in pain. A phantom bullet rockets through her lower back and it feels white hot as it ricochets through her insides, the way it had done those few weeks ago when the cartel leader had taken her life. “It hurts so bad,” she manages to spit out, muffled but still able to be heard. 

“I know but I promise it will pass,” Juliana hears, the voice calm and collected but low and a whisper. And after what she thinks is a short amount of time but couldn’t be sure, the pain subsides and her form imitates heavy breathing. La Muerte slowly releases her grip on Juliana and the young girl turns around to face her. She falls, exhausted, into the spirit’s arms and La Muerte sinks to the floor with Juliana in her arms. “Alright. It’s okay. Shhh,” 

“Why.....Why is.....that.....happening?” Juliana sleepily asks, her voice instinctively at a whisper. The constant level of intense burning she just experienced have exhausted her throughly. 

“Your form, this spirit what you are now, is remembering what happened and is replicating the pain that it remembers,” La Muerte informs her. “It’s a side effect of you still being here,” 

“How.....How often?” 

“I’m not sure but anyone I’ve done this for has had this happen,” 

“Like who? Chino and Leon?” 

La Muerte nods. “More than likely,” Flashes of Chino on the electric chair cross through Juliana’s mind and she winces at the thought of what that must be like but can’t help feeling like it’s a bit of karma for the way she and her mother were treated at the same time. She climbs out of La Muerte’s embrace and sits beside her, back against the wall. “If Chino has.....transmigrated....that means Chino....is not in.....Chino’s body?” 

“No. I told you at Camilo’s. I had to swap their souls to get you and Valentina together. Leon is in Chino’s body and Chino is in Beltran Camacho’s,” 

“Yeah. Sorry. My mind’s...kinda scrambled....right now,”

“I’d be worried if it wasn’t,” 

“Beltran.....Camacho. Why is that familar?” 

“Oh. Chino paid your mum’s hospital bills under that name. It’s the name of the man who’s body he’s in,” 

“What? No way. This is Chino we’re talking about. You know, El Chino the sicario. He would never. He’d prefer her dead,” she says confused, the information making her more alert and helping her get control over her speech again. 

“That’s why I gave him a second chance after his execution. To appreciate what he had,”

“Chino. Appreciating me and my mum? That’s a joke. But I mean, that was definitely him in the street trying to save me,” She remembers him stood in front of her and Alacran and his men in the street. She remembers being on her knees on the gravel and hitting Alacran in the leg. Running towards Chino and being in his arms for the first time probably ever. Him protecting her and them both running away. She remembers hearing gunshots but no pain until they were far enough away. And she remembers collapsing on the ground in Chino’s arms as she realized she has been hit. 

The muffled voices and sirens around her. Chino’s eyes looking down at her, as blue as the sky above him. She remembers the blood on his hands, her blood, and the rush around her as she got lifted onto the stretcher, yelling out in pain. 

“Leon Carvajal is the one is Chino’s body, remember?,” La Muerte reminds her, pulling Juliana back to the moment after she spaces out. 

“But if Leon is in Chino’s body, that means he’s the one who tried to save me, not Chino,” 

“Correct,” 

“That doesn’t make any sense. Why would Leon Carvajal want to put himself in danger to save me?” 

She knows that Leon was stabbed. She knows he transmigrated like Camilo had claimed Chino had when she and Valentina went to talk to him so he must be feeling this pain again too, being stabbed over and over though instead of shot. He saved her. “Valentina’s dad tried to save me,” she says, exasperated at the revelation. “He was telling the truth back in San Antonio,” 

And the last thing she remembers before waking up in the morgue is Valentina, shouting and attempting to run towards her on the stretcher but being held back by police officers. “Juliana!” Valentina’s voice rings out in her ears. She had never heard her so scared. 

“Does Valentina know? About her dad?” 

“Yes. He came clean and she knows everything. About him being Jacobo and the transmigration. She’s even met Chino,” La Muerte tells her. That sends her into a panic. “No, no, no, no. Please tell me that’s not true. She can’t have- No,” 

“Hey, Hey. Relax. It went fine and it was just the once. He came over whilst Valentina was helping your mum. She clearly hasn’t changed her mind about you,” La Muerte assures her, pointing over her shoulder with her thumb. Juliana nods, still panicking on the inside.


	8. Chapter 8

Back in the SUV, Guille and Valentina sit side by side, still reeling from the information told to them by the witch. “But that’s just not possible,” Valentina says, speaking out loud. She leans forward, covering her face with her hands. 

“She seemed genuine to me. Plus Dad did the same thing,” Guille retorts, his hand rubbing his younger sister’s back comfortingly. 

“Dad reincarnated. She said Juliana hadn’t yet,” 

“Which means we’ll just have to see if she pops up somewhere,” 

“How are we even supposed to know who she’ll be?” 

“We’ll just have wait and see, I suppose,” Valentina just offers a heavy sigh in response. Not long ago she thought Juliana was dead but now she might come back to her but not in her body. The weight of the situation feels almost too much to bear. How long is she supposed to wait? It’s agony.

The sound of a ringtone cuts through the silence and Guille pulls his phone out of his jacket pocket. “It’s Eva,” he informs Valentina. She groans and sits back in her seat, slouching. He picks up and hits the speakerphone button. Before he even gets the chance to greet her, Eva’s voice reverberates around the car. “Where are you?” 

Guille takes one look at Valentina’s face and holds back a laugh, replying with “Running an errand,” 

“What errand?” 

“Just an errand, Eva. Jeez,” 

“I’m trying to uphold the family’s image here, Guille. It’s no time for messing around,” 

“Nobody’s messing around. We’ll see you when we get back,” he argues in an attempt to shut down any arguments. Whispers of what seems to be a disagreement with a masculine voice which definitely does not belong to Eva happen happen in the background of the call just before Guille hangs up. One of Valentina’s hands shoots to her hair and the other pressing against the side of her nose in obvious distress. “What am I supposed to do, Guille? Just wait around and hope Juliana shows up?” 

“That’s all we can do for now, Vale,” he says, wrapping arms around her. Valentina sinks into her brother’s embrace and lets out another heavy sigh as Guille gives Alirio permission to set off towards their home.


	9. Chapter 9

“Let’s see....there was that couple in the 50s. She was an accountant and he was a baker. Or the English actors in the 60s. They probably came close to you and Valentina soulmate-wise,” 

“The 60s? Doesn’t seem that long ago,” 

“The 1660s doesn’t seem that long ago?” 

“The 1660s?” Juliana splutters and it takes her a moment to recover. “How old are you exactly?” 

“Oh, Juliana, don’t you know it’s rude to ask a lady her age?” La Muerte jokes, amused at Juliana’s reaction. 

At that, Juliana lets out a laugh and nudges La Muerte slightly with her shoulder warmly. It’s almost as if she isn’t a deity at all. “So how do we sort this out? I really don’t wanna be a ghost and I really wanna see Valentina again,” 

“That’s the hard part. I can switch souls of the already dead around easy. But with you, we have two a bit more difficult options. Number one, we put you back in your own body, which is difficult to explain on your end and requires a lot more strain on my abilities. Plus we don’t know what they’ve done with your body,” 

Juliana sighs and looks up at the sky. “And the other option?” A grimace spreads across her face in anticipation for what the other one could possibly be. 

“We wait for someone else with unfinished business to die and switch you out with them,” La Muerte tells her whilst explaining it all as simply as she can, Juliana’s brow become more and more furrowed as she bites on her fingernail nervously. 

“So we’re screwed is what you’re telling me,” Juliana responds angrily, raking her hand through her hair in frustration.

“No but while we’re figuring things out, we should probably go check on how things surrounding your funeral are going. I’m sensing that we’ve got a limited amount of time,” La Muerte says distantly, understanding Juliana’s anger isn’t directed at her. 

At her response, Juliana’s eyes dart around anxiously. Would her mother accept Chino’s help with funeral costs? Or the Carvajals’ for that matter? That would speed things up. Would she even ever get to see or be with Valentina again?Noticing Juliana’s hope vanishing quickly, La Muerte slings her arm over her shoulder. “Hey. We can do this. I’ve been doing this soul business for far too long for it to fail now,”

“How close can I get to Val without her noticing me?” Juliana asks quietly, Valentina forever on her mind. 

“Without her noticing, out of reach because you might end up accidentally touching and freaking her out otherwise. Oh and while we’re on the subject, talking to her is probably not a good idea either. You can talk to me you coz I’m me but talking to mortals is probably not a good idea,” 

“Right. So what’s the point then? Jesus, this is all so complicated,” 

“We’ll get there. We’ll figure it out. This is my fault, my mistake. I’ll fix this. I promise,” La Muerte says, genuinely remorseful. Juliana just nods. “Come on. Let’s get out of this tree,” A spike of pain from the bullet wound shoots up Juliana’s back as she twists to get down. With a cry of pain escaping her lips, the jolt sends her hurtling towards the ground. Luckily, La Muerte is quicker and catches Juliana on her way down and lowers her gently to the ground. 

When Juliana is safely on the ground, she turns to look at her unlikely companion. “You never told me who you were aiming for,” 

“Huh?” La Muerte asks, shifting on the spot a little. 

“You said you made a mistake when you let me die so who were you aiming for?” 

“Oh. Alacran. He moved and made my aim all wonky though and I got you instead and then he escaped while I was trying to keep you alive,” Juliana pouts, making the deity laugh. La Muerte nudges her, mirroring her from earlier. I’ll get him next time though. Anyway, come on. Let’s see what everyone’s up to,”  
________________________________________

Walking into her bedroom, Valentina lets out a heavy sigh and flops onto her bed, her head spinning with both everything she’s just been told and images of Juliana.  
Her eyes drift to the picture rack hung up by the bay window and she makes her way over to it. 

Pictures of her family and friends taken over the years clipped to the wire bars put a wisp of a smile on her face before her eyes land on the new additions of her and Juliana. Selfies taken at Guille’s birthday party and others that Lucia had printed out for her to stick up with the rest. “These are definitely keepers,” her stepmother had told her. 

Valentina takes one down and takes a seat on the bench beside her, her eyes never leaving Juliana’s face. She’d taken it after Juliana had gotten in bed the first night she slept over. The younger girl had protested. “Ay, Val, no. I look like a mess,” 

“Never. You’re beautiful,” Valentina had told her, repeating what she’d been telling her all night that night. Juliana’s giggle drifts through her mind as though it were in the distance. Tears drip down Valentina’s face when the memory ends. The deep breath she takes is shaky. Her eyes only leave the photograph when there’s a light knock at her door. 

“Hey,” 

“Papa,” is all Valentina manages to get out before she embraces her father as tight as she can.


	10. Chapter 10

“Papa,” Valentina repeats, tightening her hold on her father. Leon walks her backwards towards the bed so she can sit back down. She does once she feels she can and her hands grip the bedsheets so tightly that her knuckles turn white. Leon picks up the photograph laying strewn on the floor and smiles at it. He sits next to his youngest daughter, taking one of her hands in his own. 

“So. You saw Uncle Camilo, huh?” he says, breaking the silence. Valentina nods in response. “Anything particularly groundbreaking?” She hesitates. Should she tell him? She looks at the photograph in his hand, at Juliana laughing at something Valentina had said. She couldn’t quite remember what it is was that had been said but it made Juliana laugh so it didn’t matter. 

“She was special, wasn’t she?” Leon says. Again, Valentina nods. She meets his eyes and it’s obvious he’d been watching her look at the photograph. In her quietest voice, she tells her father what she’d learned on her trip to both Camilo’s and Barbara. 

He nods along with Valentina’s retelling of the day’s events and smiles at the hint of hope in her voice when she mentions Juliana might come back. It’s good to see a hint of his bright, happy little girl in the shell of what she’s become. He places a kiss on her temple and another on the top of her head when he stands to leave, pressing the photograph into Valentina’s palm. 

He turns to look at her when she stops him from walking out the door. “Te amo, Papa,” she squeaks. He smiles telling her he loves her more before finally leaving Valentina to her own devices once more.   
The youngest Carvajal plonks herself down on the bench by her window and looks up at the stars. 

With Juliana on her mind, she thinks about how nervous and confused she was about her feelings but as soon as her lips touched Juliana’s, there was nowhere in the world she’d rather have been. She could swear that she saw something fly past but she shakes her and blinks a few times, putting it down to tiredness and her mind playing tricks on her.   
______________________________________

Juliana breathes heavily, clinging to the side of Valentina’s house. “Well that was close,” La Muerte says after calming down laughing. “You should’ve seen your face,” 

“It’s not funny,”

“Oh come on. Lighten up, Juliana. This is the most fun I’ve had in nearly 90 years. Definitely a story for another time though. Here, take my hand,” 

“She nearly saw me,” Juliana says, talking the almost skeletal hand of La Muerte. “I have no idea how I’m supposed to do this. It’s not like I can just knock on the front door and be like ‘Hey, Val. I’m not dead but I kinda am dead but I could come back or maybe not’ or something,” 

“It’s okay,” La Muerte squeezes Juliana’s hand to get her attention. “You’re okay,” 

Juliana nods. “Okay. Yeah. You’re right,” 

“I didn’t wanna do this coz I didn’t wanna freak you out but I can make you slightly more visible. Vale should be able to see you properly then,”


	11. Chapter 11

“So how does this work then? Turning me more visible?” Juliana asks once she and La Muerte are on the roof and out of sight. 

“There’s a lot of things that I can do. Whether they’re things that come with being me or things I’ve picked up. Right now, you’re in middle of translucent and visible but I can push you more towards the visible side if that’s something you’d want,” La Muerte explains as if she’s done it before, which she more than likely has. Juliana determines that a lot of what is happening La Muerte has dealt with before. 

“That would mean total exposure,” Juliana points out. 

“It would indeed. But it would also mean you’d be able to at least be around Valentina again,” 

“Alright. Sold. Let’s go. Let’s do it,” Juliana says, a little too immediately and enthusiastically. 

“Okay. We’ll have to wait for Valentina to be as alone as we can get her to be but...”  
La Muerte moves closer and looks Juliana straight in the eye. “.....as long as you’re sure,”. When Juliana replies with definitely, La Muerte suddenly grows nervous. Standing at the highest point of the roof, she bounces on her toes and takes a deep breath, taking in the sun. 

“You okay?” Juliana asks, her eyes unmoving from La Muerte’s. 

“Yeah. I just....really don’t wanna mess this up. 135,000 years of, among other things, soul swapping and matchmaking for mortals and even some immortals but this is the first time it really feels like a really big deal,” 

Juliana blinks and shakes her head in disbelief. She reaches up to grab La Muerte’s hand and pulls her down so they’re sat side by side. “But I’m just a random girl from San Antonio. Sure, Valentina’s the big celebrity but didn’t you say you’ve done royalty too? Surely that’s a bigger deal, right?” 

La Muerte lets out a laugh. “Don’t you get it, Juls? You and Val are written in the stars,” she tells her, smirking at her own use of the girls’ nicknames for each other. “This is a crazy big deal,” Juliana falls silent, letting the information sink in. 

“Here, let me show you,” La Muerte says, shuffling closer to and slightly behind Juliana, turning her attention towards the night sky. It’s clear to Juliana that, after seeing the front she’s put up slip for the first time, La Muerte’s back to her wisecracking ways when she points to the sky above their heads, painting their names with her finger across the night sky using the stars like a dot to dot puzzle.   
______________________________________

Valentina wakes with a start, jerking into consciousness. She scans the room, realizing she fell asleep on the bay window bench. Grabbing the fresh coffee obviously put on her bedside table by Chivis, she watches Tiberio mowing the grass for several moments and feels nothing but calmness and contempt. Wait. She feels calm. 

Sitting up quickly, she pats her cheeks lightly and prods her forehead. No tears or a headache upon waking. She didn’t have a nightmare last night. In fact, she can’t remember what she dreamt about at all. She grabs a leather bound book laying on her desk. Her dream journal. A recommendation for Camilo. 

She flips through it hurriedly. Every entry mentioning some sort of nightmare to do with the shooting. Not getting there fast enough - the truth. Getting there and watching it happen. Juliana hitting the ground, blood pouring out of her. Juliana’s screams and cries bouncing off the inside of her mind. The worst ones being the most gruesome depictions of the events that would give The Iliad a run for its money. 

Why can’t she remember last night’s? She doesn’t even feel tired. She writes the word ‘nothing’ and tosses the book onto her bed, telling herself not to worry about it too much. She makes her way downstairs, now half empty coffee mug in one hand, pulling her duvet after her with the other.


	12. Chapter 12

“What’s the damage then?” 

“Everything’s fine. Your body’s still in a freezer storage unit. Your mum’s working out a payment plan for a funeral. We’ve still got time,” La Muerte relays to Juliana once she gets back from her recon mission back to the morgue. “Did anyone see you?” 

“No. I’ve been safe up here. Guille, Eva and Leon have all left,” La Muerte heaves a sigh of relief. 

In the momentary comfortable silence, Juliana sits with an uneasy feeling lodged in her stomach. “This whole thing is a lot, y’know. Maybe we should just....put me in somebody else? That way I’m not completely gone,” Juliana asks, flip flopping back to Plan B. “I don’t know. I’m scared,” 

“Here, hold on to me,” La Muerte says, offering her hands out, palms facing the sky. Juliana’s hands lay on top of hers, palm to palm. La Muerte, seeming to have made a decision, closes her eyes. 

There’s a sharp intake of breath, slight muttering and a slow output of breath. Juliana’s skin is set alight and a tingly sensation reaches every stretch of skin. La Muerte drops her hands, exhausted with sweat on her forehead. 

“You okay?” Juliana asks, reaching her hand out towards her. She jumps in shock at the hand she sees. It’s not quite how it used to be but looks almost pretty normal. She flips it over a few times, determining that it is in fact real and her hand, and then turns her attention back to the deity. Juliana positions herself so she can catch the pale woman’s eyes and holds them with her gaze. “Are you okay?” She repeats. 

“I’m fine, Juli. It just takes a lot out of me. At least now, we have a middle step in between so seeing Val isn’t delayed. We can work out the rest later,” 

“I’m sorry,” Juliana says, wrapping her arms around La Muerte in an attempt at a hug. She feels La Muerte to reciprocate. “Gotta say though. After everything, hugging literal Death is definitely by far the weirdest thing that’s happened,” At that, La Muerte lets out a resounding laugh that is muffled by Juliana’s shoulder and hugs her tighter. 

“I feel like we should come up with a game plan for how you wanna do this and in case anything goes wrong,” La Muerte says, pulling out of Juliana’s embrace, her calm, in control nature returning. 

“Okay. Well, Val’s a big believer in the ‘other side’ anyway and we know she’s been told that I’m still here sort of. But the question is how do I get her to believe me?” Juliana asks in between anxious bites of her fingernails. 

“I mean it depends on how much you want her to know,” La Muerte queries, watching Juliana cautiously. “She can touch you but not for very long and it’s probably best to avoid talking about me. So no looking at or talking to me once she knows you’re there,” 

This affects Juliana somewhat. “How do you do this all the time?” Juliana asks, sighing hard with stress and biting on the nail on her thumb. 

“Practice, darling. Lots and lots of practice. Now you stay put while I figure out how to get us inside,” La Muerte says with a smile, placing a hand on Juliana’s shoulder and giving it a reassuring squeeze. The divine figure makes her way towards the front door of the house and hovers around outside. 

Juliana’s eyes scan the garden below them, looking for some reprieve from it all for a second. The clicking of stilettos on concrete captures her attention. She moves so she’s out of sight as a mass of blonde hair emerges from the house. Her eyes follow Lucia as she crosses the cobbled path from the Carvajal mansion stairs and clambers into one of the awaiting black SUVs. 

The car pulls away from it’s stationary position and Juliana’s eyes follow it down the driveway as if willing it to keep going and not turn around. Lucia’s confirmed departure means all of Valentina’s family have left except probably Silvina, who’s more than likely in the kitchen. La Muerte has her hand in between the door and the doorframe preventing it from shutting all the way. 

Juliana’s mind drifts, thinking about how Lucia and Leon managed with the soul swap and if she and Valentina can do the same. What if she just let her move on? Could she just watch from afar as her girl lives her life loving and being loved by someone else? It would hurt like hell but maybe she could. If she and Val were that woven into the threads of Destiny, then why wasn’t this easier? 

Soulmates. That word weighs heavy on Juliana’s shoulders. Can she actually do this? The answer to that she doesn’t know but figures she can only try. She breathes out slowly and rises to her feet, offering a single nod in La Muerte’s direction. Making her way towards it in a similar fashion, Juliana faces the brown wooden door and her fate. “Ready?”  
______________________________________

Valentina, now cocooned in her duvet, mindlessly flicks through the movie channels on the TV. She clicks on a movie in the art cinema genre she knows she’s seen before. She rests her head on the back of the sofa and fixes her eyes on the ceiling. Barbara’s voice loiters at the forefront of her mind. ‘The soul of Juliana Valdés is still here’.  
“Come back to me, Juls. I need you,” 

“Mi niña, is there anything I can get you?”. Chivis’ voice rings out from the kitchen. Valentina says no but it seems Chivis didn’t hear her when the question is asked again so she goes the kitchen to establish she doesn’t want anything. 

Because Chivis hasn’t taken no for an answer to that question since the incident took place, Valentina ends up moving to restore her position in her fluffy igloo with a glass of water and a banana in hand. Taking a gulp of the drink when she’s walking back to the living room, however, turns out to be a bad thing. She halts and her breath catches in her throat. She chokes on the water that’s in her mouth and it ends up all over the floor. A hand shoots up to her mouth as she coughs. She can not believe her eyes. 

“Val,”


	13. Chapter 13

Valentina stands in the hallway of her home, glass in one hand and banana in the other. She hits her chest lightly with the side of her fist as she coughs to try to stop it. Her eyes water and the coughing subsides. In front of her stands a figure. Her ex-No current-No ex. She doesn’t know the right answer. She hadn’t really thought about their relationship status since the killing. 

She blinks rapidly at the form of Juliana that stands before her when her brain lets her and steps back a few paces. The figure steps forward a few paces. No. No,” she vocalizes. She tells herself this isn’t real. Her mind played tricks on her in Camilo’s office. It played tricks on her in her bedroom. It’s playing tricks on her now. “This isn’t real. You’re dead,” she says sharply, almost spitting out the words as if they were poison to her. 

“Val-,” 

“No. You’re dead. I saw you dying,” 

“Val. Just let me-,” 

“No. No. No. There was gunshots and screaming and blood. So much blood. You were dying. You’re dead!” She yells. With every no that leaves her lips, she darts away until she feels she’s far enough away but the figure still chases her in a game of cat and mouse, trying to get her to calm down. Chivis pops her head round the corner. “What’s wrong, Valentina?” They both freeze. 

Valentina looks to Chivis and then back at the figure but by the time, she looks back what she thought she saw is no longer there. “Er....Nothing. Just tired, Chivis,”. She rubs her eye partly to be convincing and partly to try to clear her mind. “I’m gonna take a nap on the sofa,”. When Chivis disappears again, she steels herself and walks into the living room. 

Taking a seat on the sofa, Valentina rubs her eyes again and sits hunched forwards with her hands on her face. She sits like that for several moments. “You’re okay, Vale. You’re okay,” she says to herself. 

“Val,” a familiar voice says softly. Valentina nearly jumps out of her skin. “Hey. Look at me, Val,”. Blue eyes meet brown and suddenly, all at once, Valentina is closer to Juliana than she has been in what feels like an agonizingly long time. Juliana has her hands up, palms facing towards Valentina to show that she means no harm. “Juls?” Is all that is willingly to leave her mouth. 

“It’s okay. Everything’s okay, ” Juliana reassures her. She crouches in front of the sofa. From this position, she looks up at Valentina. This could have definitely gone better. She’s mentally facepalming but keeps calm for Val’s sake. A silent moment passes between the two of them. 

“You died. I’m sure you did. What is this?” Valentina asks. 

“I know. I know. I’m not exactly sure what this is either. But what I do know and understand I can explain. If you’ll let me,”. Valentina studies the girl’s face in hopes for some clarity and notices she doesn’t quite look the way she should. She was definitely dead but it’s not reincarnation. She looks like her. Of that she is sure. Her father didn’t look like this.

In hopes of understanding what the actual fuck is going on, Valentina thinks about what she’s read and been told by Barbara and finally nods. She wants to hear what ‘Juliana’ has to say. Juliana makes sure that the blue eyed girl has calmed down and she exhales slowly. 

“Okay so where do I begin? Um, you know your Uncle Camilo?”. Val nods wordlessly. “Well I woke up in the morgue wasn’t really sure what was happening to me but something in me was pulling me to you and I remembered his book decided that your uncle might be able to help me,” 

“You talked to him?” 

“Not exactly. I was preparing to but this girl and her brother turned up outta nowhere and got in the way,” 

“Wait, that was you? I thought I saw something but....oh my god,” 

“Yeah. Whoops. I was also at the medium’s place. What was her name? Barbara or something,” 

“So what you’re saying is you’ve been stalking me,” 

Juliana lets out a laugh. God it feels good to be around Val again. She quite quickly found herself unable to stop smiling. Valentina, despite the weirdness and confusion, feels her slip into that comfiness she feels around Juliana. 

“So, what I’m actually trying to say is,” Juliana continues. “I’ve been on this crazy adventure and it’s still not over but I just had to see you,” She then goes on to explain why she’s here at the house and how she got here, omitting La Muerte from the story as she had been instructed. Val asks if she can touch things and how she’s been coping like this and upon remembering La Muerte’s words, Juliana immediately throws herself at Valentina and wraps her arms around her.

“Oh god. My love,” leaves Val’s lips and that’s it. Her arms find Juliana and they both relish in the embrace. Valentina’s hold tightens and tears fall down her face. “I’m so sorry. I lost you,” she whispers. “I can’t even begin to describe the feeling,”. 

Juliana unsurprisingly finds herself getting emotional at the thought of what Valentina’s been through in her absence. “I’m here. I’ve got you,” Juliana pulls back to look Valentina in the eyes. “I’m back. Ish. I’ve got you,”.


	14. Chapter 14

Both girls refuse to let go of the other but it’s not like either of them are complaining. The pulling sensation deep in both girls’ chests relents and they both delight in the feeling of being in the other’s arms. Valentina pulls back from the hug but not too far away to get another look at Juliana. Her arms stay firmly locked around the woman in front of her as she does so. She scans Juliana’s face. She still doesn’t quite believe her eyes and resists the urge to pinch herself to check if she’s dreaming. 

She drinks in the sight of her love. Her eyes. Her nose. Her mouth. Her eyebrows. Her hair. Everything. Valentina’s hand finds Juliana’s cheek and her thumb moves slowly back and forth across it. She can feel her heartbeat thumping so hard against her chest in a way that she’s almost positive Juliana can hear it. That’s definitely her. No doubt about it. God, she’s missed her. Of course she knew that already but having her here in front of her in any capacity is different. 

The only time Juliana breaks eye contact with Valentina is when she turns her face to nuzzle the warm palm of the hand on her cheek. She opts for closing her eyes as she does so and lets out a content sigh, placing a soft kiss in the centre of Valentina’s hand. For a solitary few minutes, all feels right in the world. Valentina’s breath catches in her throat. 

Then, her hand slips through Juliana and suddenly, she can no longer feel her there. It’s as if she was never there at all. Panic rises. “Juls?” Puzzled, Juliana looks down at herself and she finds she can see the floor through her legs once more. Her eyes bulge in fear and she glances towards the corner of the room in a way that she hopes won’t draw attention to it or the deity standing there. 

La Muerte makes a exasperated motion in Juliana’s peripheral vision. “What’s happening?” Valentina asks, her eyes fixed desperately into the space where she’s sure Juliana is, looking for a sign that she’s still there. “Juls?” 

Juliana’s eyes dart round the room as she thinks back through everything she knows and has been told. “Fuck,” she lets out quietly. Valentina searches the spot she heard the sound come from. Her eyes adjust and she’s able to pick out Juliana from the empty space in front of her. 

Juliana’s eyes bore into the rug on the floor, hoping some of her fear radiates to La Muerte from her position in the corner.  
Being impeccably perceptive, La Muerte, of course, does and her mind starts whirring. Valentina’s eyes never leave Juliana as she rises to her feet in frustration. She’s scared that if she looks away, she’ll lose sight of her and she’ll disappear again. “What happened?” She asks, quiet as a mouse. She clenches a fist. 

As Juliana turns away from Valentina in frustration, she casts another looks in La Muerte’s direction, pleading silently. La Muerte points at her, at Valentina and then grips her forearm with her other hand. “Charades? That’s a new one,” Juliana thinks, furrowing her eyebrows. Then, it clicks and she turns and grabs Valentina’s hand. “I’m right here,” 

Valentina swallows hard anxiously and diverts her gaze. “I can’t lose you again. I just can’t do it again,” 

“Hey,” Juliana says, speaking softly. “Hey. Look at me,” she coaxes and crouches again. Once she’s holding the smouldering blue gaze with her own again, she tucks some of Valentina’s hair behind her ear. She spots Valentina’s hand and pulls her fingers out gently from their clenched position. A soft smirk spreads across her face and puts Valentina’s pinky delicately into an outstretched position. 

“Pacto?” She asks. Her eyes meet Valentina’s when she speaks. 

Valentina nods. “Pacto,”. Juliana hooks her pinky around the other girl’s outstretched one. “No one will tear us apart. No crazy men with guns and no amount of time,” 

The front door swings open and the clicking of high heels starts heading towards them. Eva’s voice, usually loud and brash, reaches the lounge unintelligibly. She walks back and forth in the hallway, which gives Juliana enough time to plant a kiss to Valentina’s cheek and get out of sight. Valentina watches Juliana and makes sure she’ll be safe where she hides. As Eva gets closer to the lounge in her pacing, Valentina hears something she would have never been prepared enough for. 

In the moments where her breathing calms after the panic of getting Juliana out of the way, Valentina sits silently. 

“No, Alacran, I-,”


	15. Chapter 15

The wind is knocked out of Valentina as soon as the criminal’s name leaves Eva’s lips. She feels like she could throw up there and then. Surely, she had misheard. But Eva says his name again. This time clear as day. Her entire body shakes. With fear? Anger? She isn’t sure, maybe it’s a bit of both. 

She breathes heavily but the breaths she takes are shallow. She catches movement out of the corner of her eye. Eva walks past where she’s sitting and yells something at Chivis. Valentina can’t hear it though as her heavy breathing continues. Between the ringing in her ears and her heart beating quickly, her brain can’t compute whatever it is that Eva’s mad about now. 

She doesn’t want to let Eva know that she knows and she certainly doesn’t want her to find out about Juliana so she sinks shakily back into the sofa and pulls her duvet around her a little too forcefully. She looks over to where Juliana is hiding and makes eye contact with her as the younger girl peers over the arm of the sofa. Valentina gestures with her head and points at the ceiling. She mouths the word ‘bedroom’ and hopes Juliana understands. 

Valentina looks towards the kitchen where she can see Eva standing in the doorway with her back to the lounge. “Go, go, go,” She mouthes but as Juliana passes, she sticks an arm out to get her to stop for a second. The girls hold each other’s gazes and Valentina whispers “Te quiero mucho,”, not wanting this to be the time she fully makes her love confession. She’s said te quiero before so it’ll be fine. She doesn’t have the time to overthink it. She thinks she sees a wide smile on Juliana’s face and then gestures for the girl to hurry up. Juliana does so, her chest warm and half of the way up where the turn in the staircase is when she realizes that La Muerte isn’t following her. 

She doesn’t want to go find her in case Eva sees so she waits on the flat step between both sets of stairs. The divine being in question creeps past Valentina and places a hand on her chest in a way that she knows Valentina won’t feel. She thinks about the way Juliana talks about Valentina and the obvious love in her voice when she does so. She thinks about the twinkle in those deep brown eyes and the way both of their names are woven into the threads of Destiny. Her palm glows and that’s how she knows it works. 

La Muerte emanates all of the love she can feel and lets it flow through her into Valentina’s chest. She hopes it’s enough as she can’t add any artificial love to the process. Given her intel and having listened and watched as Juliana tells her about Valentina in the time that she’s shared with the young girl, she knows in her bones that it is. She leans forward and whispers into Valentina’s ear the same way she did Barbara. 

“She loves you. Hold on to that,”. Unaware of the reason she felt compelled to do that, she slips out of the room and makes her way up the stairs. Juliana makes a confused face at her but La Muerte just shrugs and gestures up the second flight of stairs in a way that suggests she wants Juliana to lead the way. 

Valentina, down in the lounge still, has her hand flat against her chest where only seconds earlier, a strange but welcome flurry of what can only be described as love spread from. Despite herself, she smiles bigger than she has in a long time as she feels nothing but Juliana’s love for her. “She loves me,” she whispers softly. 

That feeling, however, is quickly stomped out with every click headed towards her. She flinches and squeezes her eyes shut tight but forces herself to act normally and fixes her eyes on the TV screen. “Valentina,”. The brashness in Eva’s voice has definitely made it’s return and snuffs out the embers of the warmth she was feeling. She doesn’t take her eyes off of the screen. She doesn’t feel as though she can’t stand to look at Eva right now. 

“Where have you been?” Valentina asks coldly. 

“The office. Where else would I go? You haven’t gotten dressed so I’m assuming you haven’t showered at all today. God, Valentina, when will you learn that appearances matter?” 

“Who’s gonna see me when I don’t leave the house? Chivis? Tiberio? They’ve only been working for us for as long as I can remember but yeah, I’m sure they’re working for the paparazzi,” Valentina says, rolling her eyes. 

“That’s not the point,” Eva barked. 

“Then what is the point? Dress to the nines for the fucking houseplants?” 

“At least make an effort,” 

“I shouldn’t have to spell out the fact that I am grieving to you,” 

“Over what? Some girl you barely know,” 

Valentina wasn’t going to take the bait again. Not now. She eyes Eva’s hand that’s resting on her stomach and gets an idea. “I don’t wanna argue right now. Stress isn’t good for you or little Valentino or Valentina in there,” she jests in an attempt to diffuse the situation. 

At that, Eva couldn’t help chuckling, a small smile on her face. “Mateo and I are not naming the baby that,” 

“It’s a great name. Come on,” Val pleads teasingly. “Chivis, tell her that it’s a good name,” Valentina says, addressing the woman as she emerges from her post in the kitchen to see what all the fuss is about. Eva looks at her little sister with her eyebrows furrowed. What’s gotten into her? Valentina herds both women back into the kitchen, probing Chivis further about the name of her future niece or nephew.  
_______________________________________

In Valentina’s bedroom, Juliana spends several minutes looking around. It’s just as she remembers it. Memories flare up in her mind. The night after Guille’s party. Slow dancing. The “energy game”. Unzipping the shirt she made for Valentina. She’s sure that’s when she started to fall for her. Her eyes drift to the bed. Their first sleepover. Their first time. Juliana inhales sharply when that memory surfaces. 

La Muerte closes the door quietly as she enters and watches Juliana take the room in. “You okay, sweetheart?” She asks. Juliana nods and turns her head to look at her. “So this is Val’s room, huh?” Juliana nods again. With a smirk, she says “More humble than I was expecting,” Juliana nudges La Muerte with her shoulder playfully. They both laugh. 

“She didn’t pick the decor,” she tells her. Then, Juliana’s face falls. “What happened back there?” 

“You held physical contact for too long. I warned you,” La Muerte reminds her. Juliana sighs defeatedly. La Muerte turns her to face her and hugs her securely. Juliana doesn’t hesitate in reciprocating, burying her face into La Muerte’s shoulder. They stand there for several minutes in silence, La Muerte periodically attempting to pull away and Juliana holding on and pulling her back in. It makes La Muerte giggle every time. “It’s tough, I know but it’s gonna be okay,” 

“Eva knows the man who shot me,” Juliana says, ignoring La Muerte’s reassurances. 

“Maybe she was talking to someone else about him,” 

Juliana shakes her head as best she can against La Muerte’s shoulder. “She’s involved with him somehow. Fuck. Can’t anything ever be easy?”


End file.
